A lot said, ‘I rediscovered my sexual self “But some of the women had more than one partner; some had what they called ‘f… buddies’, they didn’t want the hassle of a relationship but were still very sexual. ‘ They’d had long-term relationships where the sex was never about them, or they’d got caught up in the baby thing and running a house.” When one of my newly lovestruck older friends, a widow, tells me over lunch, “You don’t know what good sex is until you’re 70”, I can’t help thinking she’s either had a lot of bad sex until now or a treat lies in store at 70. “Post-menopause is not the doom and gloom everybody necessarily claims,” Malta says. “It is for some women but for a lot it isn’t. ‘ A lot of them discover for the first time that they can actually pleasure themselves. Some women said to me, ‘I’d never had an orgasm in my life until I got divorced and found a new partner.’ ”